If you’re a jazz head you’re already thinking about Steve Bernstein. Ok. I hear ya. And good for Steve for taking something unwieldy and obscure and making it synonymous with his name. If you see me playing bass clarinet and name drop Matt Lavelle, I’m gonna just smile and say. “Wild man, heavy.”
If all this just goes right over your head and you’re thinking “What a cute little baby trombone. What is that?” then we’re on the same team. This thing is a mystery to me too. Clifton, a man with quite an instrument collection, lent me his mini-trombone about 5 months ago and I’ve just managed to start using it performance in the last month. It’s an unwieldy and slurpy but a very fun little monster. Of course, when it came time to create the music for The Wonderneath, and I learned that A) I had the option of decking out one of my horns in Swarovski crystals and B) that I would be playing the horn on stage surrounded by trapeze artists, fire dancers and circus performers, I immediately thought of the baby bone.
So now I really have to learn how to play the damn thing. Maybe even in tune. So, I’m taking a break for my lip’s sake right now to write this but then back to shedding. As with many theater pieces with multiple vocalists, the songs wind up being in strange keys and I am learning some old spirituals and dance numbers in the hellish C#. Oh god of the baby bone! Hear my prayer! Give me the strength and silliness to play kinda sorta in tune!
If there is a god of the baby bone he is wearing a diaper.